Prevent My Divorce

You've been married to your partner for a number of years now. However, your marriage is soon to be destroyed by divorce. Much has been invested in this marriage.
Time, effort and money. Although the love has disappeared, you wish to stop the divorce as much as possible.

"It is not about finding the right person but falling in love with him/her", explains Mort Fertel, a well-known expert in the psychology of relationships. That is the key to a long-term relationship.

If you're strongly drawn to a person, you develop an emotional response which we call "falling in love".

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It's a reaction that's natural when you're physically, emotionally and intellectually attracted to somebody. On the other hand, loving someone is a different topic. It is something you work on actively. To keep that love that you feel towards your spouse, you should invest the time and effort in the relationship.

But if the feeling is not there or not the same any longer, no one is to be held responsible but only you and your spouse. By not being fully commited to the relationship, you have just wasted all the promises and dreams you had at the start of your marriage.

Don't lose hope. There is still an opportunity to bring back that lost feeling. Even if your marriage is heading towards divorce, you can prevent it from taking place. You can still live with and love the one you have chosen to be with forever.

The first thing to accomplish is to look at the factors that pushed this event to happen. Try to eliminate or avoid these things as possible.

Absolutely, you can replace your spouse after the divorce. But if you don't learn the how's and why's of sustaining love, you can end up having a divorce again.

Are you thinking of your past lover? It may be an aspect that is adding to the problems. You can not stay in love with your spouse if your attention is not fully focused on him/her.

If both you and your spouse are open to mend your marriage, you can start by making a two-way list. List all the details you like and dislike about your partner as well as your marriage. Even if your partner does not want to take part, you can still try it yourself.

Discuss on the things you or both of you have outlined. Exposing both good and bad sides can make the negatives easier to discuss and trivial. However, we can't ignore the fact that to several people, negatives can be difficult to accept.

Both of you should commit to change for the better and for the improvement of your marriage. As much as possible, reduce the negatives so that the positives dominate.

Guarantee to each other that you'll not say bad words behind each other's back. It is a good feeling learning that your partner talks about you positively. In return, doing the same will be easier.

These methods are so simple to do that if you apply them, you will truly be in love with your partner once again. Not only can you fix the problems in your relationship, but you can also get back the love that was lost. If you think negatively, your relationship will surely take a turn for the worse.

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